TWO SECRET GAMES THAT DESTROY BOARDING SCHOOL STUDENTS INTERNALLY THROUGH OLDER STUDENTS
Boarding school students tend to play secret games with the mindset that “nobody is watching us” and therefore they cannot be monitored in such hidden areas.
Yes, teachers and guidance and counselors may not be aware of these destructive actions, but they are really happening. Much attention has not been put on observation in these areas.
It happened to me. When I was in secondary school, I kept playing with a secret love lifestyle. I thought it was harmless. I thought it was just "school cruise." But I later realized how deeply it affected my focus, my grades, and my mental health.
Today, see how many students in boarding schools have been infected internally by these two secret games introduced by older students without proper monitoring by school management or teachers:
1. LOVE GAMES
Truly, love games destroy boarding students greatly and silently. It is unfortunate that the negative use of "love" by young children reduces students’ learning abilities in class.
Many students involve themselves in writing secret love letters to the one they find beautiful, attractive, or simply want to distract. Notes are passed in class. Names are written on desks. Crushes become obsessions.
Other students play with the word LOVE because of what they see others do in school, at home, and in the movies and videos they watched. They copy relationships they are not mature enough to handle. They practice heartbreak they are not emotionally ready for.
Getting involve into this game causes distraction. Yes, students get distracted instead of reading books, they would be thinking about "him" or "her"
Another one is emotional instability. If you get rejected, it can affect your concentrate for weeks.
Peer pressure can also push one into this deadly action. It is because of
early exposure at home that many go from love letters to secret dating, to things that ruin their future
It is important to have as many seminars as possible on how to liberate oneself from secret love involvement while in school, especially in a boarding school environment where students live together 24/7.
Yes, attraction is a natural urge that flows from within. But the earlier students are exposed to the dangers of secret love in school, the better their learning strength and academic performance will be.
We must grow to train children who will have self-control over this destructive game called love at an earlier stage.
Here are four things schools should be discussing with their students without delay:
1. Teaching students that school is for purpose, not romance
2. Explain the difference between admiration, friendship, and love
3. Create open channels where students can talk without shame
4. Give examples of people who focused in school and succeeded later in real love
Love is beautiful, but school time is for building yourself first.
If you miss your academics for love, you may spend the rest of your life chasing what you lost.
2. CULT GAMES
Many students are involving themselves in secret cult games in boarding school environments. And they think it is the only protective measure they have against bullying students and harsh teachers who are also rumored to be secret cultists.
But the truth is: you cannot fight darkness with darkness. That's a reason we need to follow the light.
Here are some attributes older students used to deceive innocent students into cult-like attitudes;
1. Midnight games: This happens during hostels games plays with artificial things at 12.am to create fear
2. Bullying and cornering students, intimidating them without mercy especially the little ones.
3. Name-calling that is, labeling innocent students “oluku” meaning foolish, dull, and useless.
4. Gang formation and creating of different groups that claim to “protect and love each other” more than reachers and parents.
5. Fake protection “Join us and no one will bully you again” that's the hidden strategy most use.
Anyone who rejects their initiation is called “a dull student and this impression was created to suffer and abuse others with words. All these create unnecessary noise and fear in the eyes of the wise who knows his purpose.
The most dangerous part is that cult students and love game students often overlap. Only few are exceptions by action. They introduce "love" when they gather together and sometimes they force a male child to approach a young girl as a “test of building his morals” or as a “test of his ability to deceive and socialize with others.”
That is not morality. That is manipulation and deception in a high rate.
Once a student enters that circle, it is hard to come out. Fear keeps them in. Loyalty keeps them in. Shame keeps them in.
The internal destruction of being associated with these guys are; loss of focus in class, fear and anxiety, dropping of grades, and a lifetime of bad associations that can destroy without warning.
HOW TO AVOID THESE TWO DANGEROUS GAMES IN BOARDING SCHOOLS
To avoid these two dangerous games played secretly in boarding schools, we need knowledge, monitoring, and mentorship especially during those years in secondary school and university level.
Another way to avoid it is to increase supervision and counseling, schools must have more dormitory supervision, CCTV in common areas, and trained counselors in many areas can be employed for students upliftment.
Telling them about students who focused and became doctors, engineers, and leaders. Telling them about students who joined secret groups and ruined their lives as major areas to draw fact from.
TO PARENTS AND TEACHERS
Please do not assume “my child cannot do that.” Boarding school is a different world. Loneliness, pressure, and curiosity can push any child into the wrong hands.
Check their bags.
Check their phones when necessary.
Ask them questions.
Be their safe place first. Hide nothing at all.
TO STUDENTS
You are not weak if you say no to love games. You are not dull if you refuse cult games. You are wise and cannot be misdirected.
Remember:
1. The boy/girl you are chasing in SS1 may not be there in your life in 5 years, but your WAEC result will follow you forever.
2. The gang protecting you today will be the same people dragging you into trouble tomorrow. So, better choose your future over temporary feelings.
To sum it up, boarding school should be a place of learning, discipline, and growth. Not a hiding place for secret destruction. Anything called 'love game' is distracting the mind and emotions while cult games is destroying your character and safety. Bear it in mind that both start small. Both look harmless and both end in regret.
Let us talk to our children continuously. Let us guide them with love, not fear. Let us give them solutions, not just rules. Because once a child's mind is destroyed internally, it takes years to rebuild. Period.
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